The November/December issue of Rev! magazine has a great article by Kevin G. Ford on decision making that I'd like to link to here, but so far, I've only found it in the hard copy. It's adapted form Ford's book, Transforming Church. Any way, it's the perfect article for the holidays, as I know many families (ours too) must make decisions about where to travel, how much to spend, and which traditions to continue. When everyone has a different (and competing) idea about what to do, how do you decide?
1. Dialogue: Allow everyone to have a chance to simply state personal opinions without feedback or interruption from others. Everyone must share an opinion...no interruptions, feedback, or reactions. Then, stop! By beginning in this format, the underlying "metamessages," pre-conceived notions, misunderstood ideas, etc. are revealed.
2. Discuss: Set a time for discussion for few days after the dialogue time. This allows everyone to process what was said and internalize others' ideas. During the discussion time, identify competing values so that they can all be considered when it comes time to make the final decision. As Ford writes, consensus is not the goal--
"Consensus is rarely achieved up front. Rather consensus is the by-product of good decisions."
3. Decide: Here is where a leader will decide what is best for all involved, based on what has come to light through the first two sessions. Don't be suprised if conflict emerges at this point-- it's just the nature of trying to work out competing values. However, by this point, the group will be dealing with clear cut conflicts that matter. All of the unspoken problems have been voiced earlier.
Ford's 3-D approach can apply to families, churches, businesses, and more. As he writes,
"Instead of the leader 'fixing' the problem, the people [are] called to engage in the adaptive process."Everyone can go along with an idea when they share in its creation.
